According to her...

I think the hardest thing for me to admit to myself was that I could not change the BM. No matter how much I love my SC and no matter how hard I try to get along with her she is not interested. She is not interested in my opinion, in my having influence over the children (even though with kids living with us 50% of the time it is impossible for me to not). She would rather hate me and resent me in the lives of her children then try to have any type of relationship with me.

It has been very hard for me to give up control here and to just accept this fact. The nicer I am to her the bitchier she is to me and the more disrespectful.  It seems like I can't win for losing some days.  Like today.
Anything that comes from our home is bad...we do not have a good idea between us "according to her". I am too involved and not a parent to the kids at all..."according to her".

So then do I live my life "according to her"?  Or according to me?